Here I Am

Dear friends, followers, and casual browsers,

There isn't possibly an explanation for my disappearance this time, except for the fact that I just didn't feel like I had anything to write about-- which is heartbreaking when I look back on that, because this should be my therapy, not my duty.  Needless to say, I suddenly feel like I have pages to write, so that was your fair warning.  Point your browser elsewhere, or get sucked into my meandering thoughts (which will span across the next few posts).

Many things have happened since my last post in February--as things tend to do.  I returned back to Midland, TX,  where my parents live, after concluding my work at the New Mexico State Capitol.  I was sad to leave Santa Fe, to say the least, but no other opportunities to stay had presented themselves.  I made so many fabulous friends working at the Capitol, and truly loved the work that I did, but alas, I did not have much of a choice- with no job offer and no place to live- but to head back to West Texas.   

While back in Midland, I continued with my job and soul searching, but the most valuable thing that happened in Midland was that I was able to spend quality, irreplaceable, loving time with my mother.  I might not ever have four months of my life ever again to spend every morning having coffee, going out (and standing in line) for lunch, or giving endless opinions on the details of her house that she and my dad have been building.  In fact, I probably won't ever have that chance again, which saddens me, but I will never forget that treasured time. Mom, I love you and I appreciate what you and Dad have done for me these past two, very difficult for all of us, years.  And I'll never make coffee as well as you do.   

After months of stagnant job searching and fruitless networking, my parents and I (with lots of consulting my dear friends) decided it was best for me to get back to New Mexico and just hope for the best.  I had found a really stable living situation in terms of location and roommate, so I finally decided to take that opportunity by the horns and make the best of relocating my life back to Albuquerque.  And here I am.

Turns out the chance I took was worth it.  Thank you to all my friends who knew that was one of the most difficult decisions I've made in my recent life--your support made it easier.  I love my house and roommate, and I have been presented with an amazing job opportunity (which I obviously took!).  It has been one week since I've started my new job working for a lobbyist, and a great first step toward my career goals.  More about my job in another post.

However, just when you think things in life are at their best, something always seems to take a turn for the worst.  This happened to me a week ago, and is perhaps the reason I am writing to you today.  I've felt a yearning to blog again for weeks, but it is almost like I had to be completely broken down to finally face Days in Red again.  (And yes, my dear friend Jordan had recently made the comment to me, "Days in Red?? More like Days in DEAD!" and that had an affect on me. ;))  So, despite the new job and the new place, I'm still facing an extremely painful trial in my life, which I am not yet ready to blog about, but I will be soon.  Funny how we come back to the things we love, or our "aesthetic/artistic pleasure" when we are at our low points, huh?  Perhaps at our low points is when we realize who we really want to be when we are at our high points.  I don't know. But here I am.